What doesn’t kill you makes a funny story.
I write to inspire, amuse and say what everyone is thinking.
My stories have been featured in Magnolia Journal, on Scary Mommy, HuffPost & Medium, and widely shared across the interwebs.
Magnolia, loss & lightening up
The last twelve months have been a whole lot. Which I totally predicted at the turn of the decade with my super catchy slogan: 2020. The Year of Plenty. I was definitely angling for abundance of the joyful kind, which for me would have meant chasing dreams, making...
Quarantined with mice: We’re all doing the best we can.
In our new normal, dough is the new sign of wealth. Not the green kind, but the bread kind we need to feed our families—and right now, it’s especially precious and scarce. So imagine my horror a few days ago to open my bread drawer and find a gaping hole in the bag...
Loving thy neighborhood businesses: A lesson in crisis communications
photo credit: @fuckjerry shirt design: @emgphotodesign Hi friends. I hope everyone is doing well and finding ways to keep your minds healthy, in addition to your families. I am finding so much hope and joy in the good deeds of my neighbors and trying to not let bad...
The Raring 20’s: What joy will you create this decade?
Every year I like to think of a slogan to encapsulate my vision for the next 365 days. Last year was ‘Living the dream in 2019.’ Before that, I was ‘Starting off clean in 2018.’ And I can't forget this nugget of poetic wordsmithing: ‘Everything’s great in 2008.’ But...
Move over Michael Jordan, I’ve got my own shoe!
I am a superstar in my own mind, and this was recently confirmed when I learned I inspired a sneaker Just like Michael Jordan, LeBron James, and Kobe Bryant, y’all. Big time! But Michelle, you’re not even a pro athlete, say the naysayers. Skk skkk skkk. I can explain....
Everyone loves Abby: Behind the scenes with Wambach, leader of the Wolfpack
“Here we go,” I whispered to my director and producer as we stood on the porch of Abby Wambach’s home, my fist just about to knock on the door of one of the most prolific female athletes of our time. A soccer player myself, I was a fangirl about to meet a legend....
Politically incorrect family April Fool’s pranks
In my household, we take our holidays pretty seriously. For Halloween, we creep out the lawn with life size monsters, a graveyard and a kids playhouse we converted into a haunted house. There’s even scary music blaring from the porch speakers that makes toddlers...
Go Team! Why cheering for others raises your own game
I was not the star kid on my soccer team. Shocker, I know, considering the size of my thighs (Schwarzenegger-ish) and the way I strut around like Team Captain, doling out nonstop direction: “Pass the ball! Take the shot! Put your dish in the dishwasher!” Still, once a...
From Boys Club to Girls Team
My creative partner and I both launched our advertising careers at a notorious boys club, both hired by a hotshot CD who has since, only quite recently, been outed in the media for his toxic culture and penchant for broism. Since ditching that scene to go freelance,...
Remember that time I wrote a book?
"You get a copy! And you get a copy! Everybody gets a copy!"A few years ago, my first novel was published. Copygirl. And all was magic in the world. Friends and family cheered, respected book people wrote nice reviews and girls who were mean to me in high school got...
The threat down the hall
You see, my daughter is coming into her own as a woman. If I was an anthropologist, it would be adorable to observe. But her imminent postpubescence is threatening my very survival. It started slowly with her helping herself to my Q-tips, draining the nail polish...
The Fun Mom
Around here, Mom gets a bum rap. Dad is the fun one, doing all the tickling and wrestling and ball-throwing in the house. I’m that shadow in the background sweeping up the shards of the vase they just knocked over. I even call my husband ‘Daddy Funtime,’ sneering as I...
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